I saw this on Twitter today – a retweet from @clara111 of a story from CTA, titled “In Tibetan areas of China, new infections appear” and the retweeter’s response “Sad news ‘occupied #Tibet‘” (italics mine) and it just kinda hit me right between the eyes. “Tibetan areas of China” — there’s the wording, from CTA and RFA. Sad news, sad words. Took me a long time to know what it was i was feeling, and if i should respond, and what.
Finally did a reply:
“Occupied Tibet” — absolutely!(twitter.com/tometaxu/status/1222088790962921472)
“Tibetan areas of China” — from the website of CTA-once-TGiE … i am … no words … it took me 20 min to think how to respond. Why i am here … almost 20 yrs …
time to cry … for other reasons than before … 🙁
The “time to cry … for other reasons” … had been crying for Tibetan’s tortures, for self-immolations, for Buddhism, for all the people’s pain. Now to cry for … well … their being abandoned by their own government-in-exile. There, i said it.
I mean … i already knew this. I don’t read a lot of political stuff, its not my world. But i try to keep informed, it is affecting and important to the people i serve. I have known, we have all known, that things have changed. Plus in my own little world, not getting my “students” any more as the culture here has changed, web resources are plentifully available, new refugee students are blocked … so call for my work has lessened. And knowing that i’m not “feeling it” any more …
But still kept going on the same, giving whatever i am called to do …
But somehow seeing this tweet, finally hit me, the reality of it. That it’s been taking me a long time to know what it was i was feeling about the changing situation in Tibet-in-exile and my place in it, and if i should respond, and what i should do.
AIt hit me know, today, with that tweet, that it’s time to face it, and find what i want to do, that i can put my full energy into.
I’m not being as useful as i could be, when motivation is compromised, when passion isn’t there. It’s time to figure out what i should be doing, and do it!
So — to all the hard-headed people — Lobsang Wangyal, Namgyal Monastery, Phuntsok Dorjee, Sethu Das, Tenzin Tsundue, Bhuchung and Tibetan writers, any Tibetan Geeks … as long as i am useful to you — i will not stop, i will never stop. But i’m doing the work for you as individuals, for your commitment, your integrity, your service. For me personally, the bigger picture is elsewhere.
I worry that i’m not wording this right. I hope people understand. I haven’t given up on the Tibetan cause, and i never will. It is why i am still here. But as a group effort, as an over-arching, encompassing reason-for-being, as the mood of the times — things have changed.
Some feedback …
- “it must be painful to see them [CTA, orgs, etc.] abandon hope carelessly when hope is all there is to keep the energy engaged.”
- — a long-time friend – 2 feb 2020
- “As you have correctly pointed out, we are the last few men standing in exile for independence and I am glad that James Walker is unstoppable when it comes to the ultimate goal of the Tibetan struggle. Thank you so much!”
- — a long-time worker for the Tibetan cause – 29 jan 2020
And so …
- We know …
- Tibet will be free.
- Never give up.
- Hope is all there is — and hope can do everything.
- “If six million Tibetans, armed with nothing but their nonviolent resistance and a Buddhist monk as their leader, can stand up to China time and again, so can the rest of the world.”